Pushing through

I'm feeling defeated today. My wages have been wrong two weeks in a row so I'm short on funds, my Upwork account has been blocked which means I'm not able to apply for freelance jobs and the site I intended to use to teach me Photoshop didn't have any local tutors. My boyfriend also left to spend four weeks with his ex-girlfriend yesterday and I'm back to wondering if I'm "allowed" to message him while he's away. 

In short, my confidence isn't at its highest. 

I know these feelings will pass. That I need to push through them and feeling defeated is part and parcel when working in the creative industry. Whatever part of the industry you work in you need to have thick skin. There are always going to be set-backs, you will always going to hit walls, and I know that I need to push through. I'm just struggling to see where my next steps should be. 

Starting off with being paid incorrectly, there's really nothing I can do about this. It's out of my hands and I'm just waiting for HR and payroll to get their shit together. I spoke to my best friend and he said that it's not such a long wait given that I get paid weekly. But when you get paid such a low amount each week and have so much debt, even a few days without correct pay makes any difference. 

All I can do in this situation is keep chasing it up. I know my boss is doing her best to fix it and I'll keep checking in where I can. I was told I'd get my pay rise and back pay this week but I didn't. Hopefully, I get it next week, but if not I know I will get the correct wage and the back pay that I have missed, eventually. I just have to be patient. 

Not exactly my forte but I can try.

Next up is my Upwork account being blocked. I've asked their online support system multiple times without any luck but finally managed to file a claim this morning. Upwork is the only platform I've been using to search for writing work, and if anything my account being frozen should push me to explore other sources. I can't just rely on one platform to help me find work, so I need to see this as the push I need to widen my search.

The third problem is my failed attempt at finding a Photoshop tutor on Superprof. It seemed like the best avenue to take and I even found a tutor in Darwin. Or so I thought. Turns out he moved and didn't change my address and no matter how many times I messaged him he still wasn't paying attention to what I was saying. I need to learn Photoshop to expand my skill set and make myself more employable. Marketing and advertising jobs aren't just about writing anymore and I need to have a wider range of skills. What I was really looking for was a face-to-face tutor, but in such a small city I don't know if that's going to be possible. The next step on this front would be to download Photoshop and do it the old fashioned way, by spending hours searching YouTube for videos I can understand and trying to teach myself. It's going to take a while and I know it's not going to be easy for me to pick up, but I have a lot of time on my hands while my boyfriend is away and I really need the distraction. 

The last one I really can't control and I'm just going to have to get on with things. He's having a baby with another woman, this really isn't something I can control. 

Stay safe on the road

Jess