Starting over

I haven't worked as a writer since COVID-19. After a nasty breakup that led to homelessness and an increase in my active drug addiction (to be explained later), I lost clients, drive and confidence in my capabilities. 

This was three years ago, and I'm ready to return to my profession as a freelance writer. I love being a bar manager and will never fully leave hospitality, but it is time for me to regain my confidence and remember what I really do. 

At the same time, a friend from back home has quit teaching and started working as a full-time photographer again. This man is insanely talented and one of my best friends, and a discussion with him helped me realise that returning to my creative path is not as scary as it seems. 

Given that I haven't worked in my field for three years now, I can't realistically expect my skills and abilities to be as honed as they once were. On the other hand, my progression through my active addiction means that I am able to utilise my time better and my brain is working at a better capacity. I am no-longer consumed by my addiction, and can focus my time more on what I love. 

Another friend has also inspired my to return to my career. Once an addict herself, she is now sober, working as a writing coach and has recently released her first novel. I know that the word inspirational gets thrown around a lot, but seeing that people like me can heal, move forward and achieve the goals they have always meant to fill has reassured me, and I now know that I can return to the career I've always worked towards. 

At the same time I have recently entered into a relationship that is making me incredibly happy. It's not without it's problems and difficulties, but at the age of 32 I need to stop pretending that other people have had lives before they met me. A friend of mine described it as baggage, which I don't agree with. But if other people's history counts as baggage then I have a lot of baggage too. 

Although I am incredibly happy in my relationship, past experience has taught me that I need to put my career first. For too long I have held the person I have been dating on a pedestal because I thought I was lucky to be with them as I didn't deserve them. Don't get me wrong I am very lucky to be with my boyfriend, but he is equally as lucky to be with me. I may be a bar manager and a girlfriend, but I am a writer first and foremost. 

Testiment to how easily my return to writing has been, my fingers have been flying over this blog post and it has taken me less than 10 minutes to produce. Although I still need to work on the logistics of promoting my content and develop my skills in digital design, I am more than happy to be back, so prepare for more content on travel, mental health and how I'm navigating my life outside of active addiction. 

Stay safe on the road, 

Jess