Sometimes

My ex-boyfriend is flying back to Darwin this week and I'd much rather he didn't. After unearthing all of his lies last week I could quite happily never see him again. I do not care for being lied to, and I'd much prefer it if he stayed in Barker with his ex/the mother of his children. Unfortunately, she doesn't want him around either and a small portion of his things are up here so I'm going to have to see him at least once more before he gets the idea. 

Seriously, he talked about us getting a place together the other day. The delusion runs strong with this one. 

Since I found out about his lies I have been talking to his ex a lot. I'll admit I harboured quite a strong hatred for the woman when he first moved there, but that was until I spoke to her and found out what had really happened. You could ask if she was lying to me and that his behaviour and actions weren't what she said. But she really has no reason to. She doesn't want him back and has had to deal with his bullshit for a lot longer than I have. As much as I would like her to take him back so I don't have to deal with him, the woman really doesn't want him either. 

I can't think why. 

One of the things we've talked about is the fact that she thinks he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and this pissed me off a little. 

The term narcissism is being thrown around a lot at the moment, in a similar way to ADHD. Every so often there seems to be an "it" diagnosis in the mental health world and it seems to have moved on from anxiety and depression to these two. I'll admit I don't know much about narcissism, but from what I can tell it doesn't seem to be a condition that is regularly medically diagnosed. 

Unsurprisingly, my ex did not respond well to this armchair diagnosis. From what I can tell he just shut down and ignored her and, as much as I am relating to what she has told me, I can see why. 

When I was in the process of being diagnosed with my condition, I thought that finding out what was wrong with me would solve all of my problems. That I'd magically be cured by a single pill and that all of my issues would go away. As you can probably tell, this wasn't the case. 

My issue with people throwing around certain terminology is that it feels like people are doing so without a proper understanding. There are a lot of conditions I know nothing about, but as someone who spent years trying to find out what was wrong with me, self-diagnosis really doesn't sit right. 

Don't get me wrong, maybe my ex does have NPD. I'm not a doctor, I wouldn't know. But making these claims and telling people they have these conditions without medical examinations is only making excuses for what is just shitty behaviour. 

Sometimes it's not a personality disorder or a mental health issue. Some people are just dicks. 

Stay safe on the road

Jess