I'm going to be perfectly honest, there are some parts of me that are so aggressively borderline that it almost brings me joy. Most of the time, I do try and be a good person, but if I decide I don't like you, I will hurt you.
Not physically, of course, I have the upper body strength of a paraplegic flea. No, I like to hurt people in other ways.
At my last job, I worked with some of the worst managers I've ever had. Actually, probably the worst. I've had bad managers before, but at least they, much like myself, were upfront about the fact that they were complete dicks. A particularly awful one shouted at me, insulted me, told me I was lying to get bigger tips, and I'm pretty sure she threatened me at some point. If anything, her actions made me the worker I am today. If I can put up with an ancient ginger chewing me out, I can put up with a customer threatening me.
I didn't see this at the time, though; I was only 21. My skin wasn't quite thick enough yet.
The manager in question believed lies about me, watched me on CCTV from home, which is illegal by the way, and kept notes on her phone about me, which is just creepy. Like, why are you so obsessed with me?
Obviously, I've recently left my job, and so I wanted to hurt them the way they hurt me. Her actions caused me to have panic attacks and self-harm again, and your bitch ain't Gandhi. An eye for an eye, my friend, the rest of the world won't go blind.
Ghandi also used to sleep naked next to virgins to prove his commitment to abstinence, so I don't think we should be looking to him for advice anyway.
It's very, very rare that I have the moral high ground, mostly because I'm a terrible person. Fat people are the bane of my existence and actually make me sick at times. Put down the pie fatty, or hurry up and eat yourself to death. Straight people also annoy me, and anyone who believes they're any kind of witch.
I hallucinate, and I get a police escort to a psychiatric hospital. You do it and think you're working on your third eye.
News flash, you ain't got one. But I digress.
Anyway, one of the things I don't quite understand is racism. I hate everyone that I hate equally, and I have no interest in the colour of your skin. If you smell, are rude to me, or if you just piss me off in general then yes, I will hate you, but that's got nothing to do with your race. Some people are just butt munches. '
People at my last place of work were incredibly racist. Using the words koon, abo or black cunt. Refusing indigenous people glasses of water, or not letting them use the bathroom, and banning indigenous people from smoking in areas that white people do.
Segregation was outlawed in Australia in 1975, just for reference.
Obviously, because I wanted to hurt my former managers, I reported them to the owners of the company and let them know. I'm not a complete cunt. I'll give you a heads up when I've caused you pain. Thing is, I've since been told I'm "not welcome" at my previous place of work, and that just rubbed me up the wrong way.
I have at least 3 friends left there, what if I want to say a quick hello or pop in for a bottle of Pinot Gris?
These things aside, I don't like it when people I don't like keep my name in their mouths. It's unnecessary, like doodle my name on your binder and be done with it. And so I may have to make another quick call to the owners of the company, just to let them know the manager has been stealing money from the pokie floats to loan to his friend.
I did say I was a bad person
Stay safe on the road
J
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